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Help Johnny Scholarship - Homework Excuse Winner



The Help Johnny Scholarship was provided by StudentScholarships.org, which provides Free Online Scholarship and Career Matching Services. Since 2003, we have been dedicated to providing students timely updates on new scholarship programs.

More than one thousand students submitted an application to our scholarship contest. We are pleased to announce that Melvin Kasozi of Aurora, Colorado has been selected as this years winner.

Homework Excuses

Winner: Melvin Kasozi

Award Value: $5000
School: Gateway High School
Location: Aurora, Colorado
Grade: 12
Schools of Interest: Drake University and University of New Mexico

Winning Homework Excuse:

At first I was struggling with my homework and it took me hours to do. Then miraculously, the light bulb in my head flickered on and I got the answer. Then as soon as I started to celebrate and pat myself on the back, Kanye West broke in through the door out of nowhere and shunned me down. "You don't deserve to get this homework right, Tommy does!" Then he stole my homework and broke out the same way he came in. And I can't believe Tommy is going to take credit for it.

Other Homework Excuses: (No Particular Order)

  1. Well you see, my name is Big Johhny, the reason for my missing homework I will explain to thee. Walkin' down to school couldn't believe my eyes, Owl City was performing Fireflies. I got on a roof just to get the whole scoop, not apparent to my eyes there was someone in disguise. We all watched on, there was someone picking pockets. I had my homework there right next to my silver locket. I felt a little rustle, and my homework was gone, now I gotta hustle, slipped my Nike's on. As the pursuer I couldn't see his face, my homework's captor was going to win that race. As we turned the corner, he took a little spill, he dropped his lunch and it rolled down the hill. I looked at the bag, past the salami, what do I see, the bag was labeled Tommy.
  2. I ate my homework because my teacher said it was a piece of cake.
  3. Like any other student, I do my homework on a standard sheet of loose leaf paper. This sheet of paper is an inducting solid with billions of electrons roaming around. The contrast between nuclei and electrons make up the physical properties of this sheet of paper. With the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, one can only observe either a particle's position, or its momentum and velocity as some electromagnetic wave -- one can NEVER observe both concurrently. Because the homework particles are desired to be seen as visible light, we cannot locate the exact position of the homework -- it could be anywhere in one of the 11 dimensions of space and time! Now if we desire to locate the position of the homework, we will not be able to observe the visible light waves entering the retina; therefore, it is impossible to locate my homework.
  4. Well teacher, I had done my homework but my mom was so proud that I had actually done it that she framed it and hung it up on our living room wall.
  5. Tommy's answers to all the homework questions are so good that it would be a disservice to my fellow students to not allow him to share all of them!
  6. Last night when I was taking a break from my walk home I found an article online that said stress leads to many health problems. Well, when I saw this the homework you assigned us troubled me because it was a very stressful bit of work you gave us. The article also said that relaxing would lengthen ones life. So I looked at the big picture and figured my general health was more important than a homework assignment in the long run.
  7. I started working on the homework assignment, sir, but did not finish it because I was completing applications for college scholarships and didn't want to miss the deadlines. Sir, I know that no excuse may be acceptable and I realize that I have not been responsible to meet the requirements of this class, but I do apologize and am prepared to accept whatever consequences you think are appropriate.
  8. It started around 500 BC, when the brilliant Hippocrates and Aristotle contemplated different ways to straighten teeth. In 1810, geniuses Kingsley and Farrar stumbled upon what we now call braces, repositioning teeth into smiles coveted by the Gods. However, their hard work and diligence could not quench the overwhelming desire for my wonderful braces to become engaged in a death grip with our car's upholstery. While returning from school, my sister revealed the wittiest joke of the century. Engulfed in laughter, I leaned forward to contain myself and the wires of my esteemed metal work intertwined with the fine linen of the car seat. I writhed and wriggled, only entangling myself deeper. For hours I sat in that precarious predicament awaiting rescue. Devastated that my beautiful braces prevented me from the enjoyment of completing this magnificent assignment, I fell asleep, exhausted from the trials and tribulations of my day.
  9. This morning I was walking to school with my homework in hand. Suddenly, a small, yellow creature appeared before me. He tempted me with a plate of green eggs and ham, but I sharply declined. Before I knew it, I was chased into a house, past a mouse, into a box, past a fox, into a car, into a tree, into a train, in the dark, in the rain, past a goat, and into a boat. I eventually accepted the plate of green eggs and ham, which was quite good, and grudgingly began walking to the school. I say grudgingly because when the small creature chased me into the rain my homework got soaked! I do hope that you'll forgive me for this fiasco and let me turn in my homework tomorrow.
  10. Johnny meant to bring his homework,
    The history paper he wrote,
    But yesterday, lying on the beach,
    We found an abandoned boat.
    We looked it over and climbed inside,
    And it took us for a magic ride.

    We sailed to Ancient Greece,
    To build the Trojan Horse.
    It opened wide,
    We hid inside,
    Taking Troy by force.

    Then we left for England,
    To perform with the Great Shakespeare
    Antony and Cleopatra,
    Hamlet, and King Lear

    But soon, we had to leave again,
    Back to the USA.
    We got there just in time
    To witness the birth
    Of Independence Day.

    But just as John Hancock
    Bent over to sign,
    I realized it was already past nine.
    So away, we went,
    Back home again.
    But it was very late by then.
    He left his homework on the beach,
    In the sand,
    But on our trip,
    He learned
    History firsthand.
  11. As a loyal servant to our environment, I felt that the homework needed to be recycled.
  12. Let's face it, in a world governed by the will of the majority, turning in today's homework would be considered conformist and myopic in perspective. Teacher, you should not view my actions as a sudden bout of forgetfulness or irresponsibility, but rather as a movement in the direction of enlightenment. Yesterday, I finally envisioned the larger picture and realized that it is not one day's homework that defines a person but his/her outlook on the world. Therefore, instead of completing two problems, I dedicated my day to reaching out to others at the local food pantry. The expressions on the faces of each mouth I helped feed reminded me of the true reason people were put here on this Earth: to help others. As Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."
  13. After I came home, my mom greeted me with a strenuous list of chores. I looked deep into her jaded eyes and was about to tell her I had loads of homework when I realized that this was the woman who birthed me, the reason for why I am alive and learning wisdom in your classroom. To refuse her would have been to put my needs over hers. How could I do that when she has never put her needs over mine? I plead with you in respect, professor. Could you say "no" to your mother during times of need and despair? I had to put this woman who bred me over myself. I choose to become the person you have always wanted me to be - selfless. And for that, I thank you. May the force be with us all. I know it sure was when I was vacuuming...
  14. Before I went home from school, I slathered on a large amount of hair beeswax to maintain my attractive image before I went out in public. As I was biking home, I heard an ear-splitting buzzing sound so I instantaneously turned around to distinguish it. I was shocked to see a swarm of bees ready to harass me. With all the energy I had, I biked as fast as I can until I lost control and hit a husky. The bike landed on my head, the bees swarmed my face, and the husky bit my arms. Due to this I was unable to read, think, or write properly in order to do my homework. As an excellent student, I cannot possibly submit work that is not completed with my best effort.
  15. I did not know how to tell you this, but I have no pencil's at my house on account of my family taking on this new kind of lifestyle. They have become environmentalist extremists, meaning they don't want anything in the house that was killed to be used. After they saw me take out my paper and pencil to start on this miraculous homework assignment they immediately began tearing up the pieces in my face. Maybe if you gave me another chance sir, I could go and do all my work in the library and turn it in later today.
  16. I turned it in early to you two days ago. You don't remember because when you left your classroom you tripped and fell down all 3 flights of stairs and had a serious concussion. While I was rushing you to the hospital on my bike, all of your paper's flew out of your briefcase and into the sewer. But I remember that you gave me an A. Wait, what are you doing out of the hospital? You shouldn't be here right now. The nurses are looking for you. How did you escape? Come on I am taking you back right now!
  17. Well I stayed up late studying for my physics test instead of doing my homework. Grade checks are coming up and if I fail the test I'm ineligible for basketball. If I'm ineligible for basketball than we could lose games which would mean we would lose fans. If we lose fan support than we could lose sponsors for our programs. If we lost sponsors, than the school would lose money, which means we would need to cut back on spending. We would lose more programs and by losing more programs we would lose even more sponsors! Eventually we would have to make staff cuts which would mean people would lose their jobs! Even you could lose your job! So, by not doing my homework and staying up to study for my physics test I saved the basketball team, the school's funding, and even your job!
  18. Well, sir, I’ve noticed that you’ve been looking tired lately. You teachers do a lot, especially with the budget cuts. I didn’t want to add to your heavy workload. I mean, it would just be plain rude to bring a five page paper like Tommy did. So I left my homework at home, as a present to you. You’re welcome!
  19. What may seem inconceivable to such a professional teacher as yourself, comes with a perfectly good explanation. Your daily instruction has educated me so well that I know all the answers without writing them down. Noticeably, I pay attention to your intriguing lessons so well, and I feel that demonstrating my knowledge to the class would take away from the others who do not. They definitely need the practice more than I. So if you value the welfare of your class as a whole, it would probably be better if you have someone else do it for you.
  20. This information is classified so you can’t say anything for your own safety. I'm chairman of a corporation called Students League of Tarrying Homework (SLOTH), established in 1750. Students pay me and some of the smartest people in the world (i.e. Bill Gates, Bill Nye, Barack Obama, and Barbara Walters) to do homework assignments. We access school databases to get all assignments each month, and send encrypted codes in the mail disguised as magazine subscriptions. Last night I found out the League had been infiltrated. Bill Nye, jealous that he had to do homework back when he was in school, searched through the databases where he found all of my homework assignments for the month, and entered the wrong code, causing all of the files to self-destruct. A helicopter will be picking me up after school to go after him. This is why I don’t have my homework.
  21. I didn't finish the homework because on the board it reads "October 25, 2010 Homework Due!!" and that date hasn't come yet.
  22. I accidentally divided by zero and my homework erupted into flames. I managed to save my house, but my homework did not make it.
  23. I failed to do my homework because Tommy bullied me all day yesterday! He's laughing at me even now! He kept insisting that boys named Johnny are horrible at math and so I suffered from stereotype threat. Unable to focus on homework, I organized a study group to meet after school to review the lesson the homework was based on. I arrived at the library ready to study, but was shocked to see that Tommy was there! He took my place in my own group! My so called friends said there was no more room. The cruel politics of high school never cease... I got home and looked in my backpack for my notes on the lesson and I couldn't find them!! All I found was a note that read "Johnny, I stole your notes from class. You can fight me for them at the library. Sincerely, Tommy".
  24. Yesterday I saw a nice man with the sign says THE END IS HERE! So no one does their homework on the eve of the apocalypse.
  25. I've recently converted to Daoism. One of Daoism's many concepts include Wu wei, which emphasizes that because nature works naturally, we as humans should take the same path and avoid performing any extra tasks other than what is natural, so doing homework is actually against my religion.
  26. Well I was sitting in my room getting my homework on when all of a sudden there was an obnoxious rumble in front of my house. I went outside to see what all the ruckus was about and there was a biker gang on the front lawn. I yelled get off my lawn you crazy hooligans. The bikers did not take too kindly to this. I locked the door but the bikers burst through. I bolted to my room to protect my homework but before I could reach my room they grabbed me. As they circled around me the leader came forward speaking in a familiar voice. He was shorter than the rest. He went on this rant about his evil plan to destroy me. He grabbed my homework, asked "Do you know who I am?" pulled off the mask and it was Tommy.
  27. Well, you see. I happen to have Selective Dyslexia Syndrome, and I read the date on the board as October 52, 2010. I thought I had an extra 30 days on the assignment! So I decided to put it off and work on my present to you that I was going to finish somewhere around October 39, and give it to you then, because you are such a handsome teacher, so full of knowledge and understanding! You should be awarded the Generation's Best Global Teacher award! (I took the liberty of nominating you for it) Since I happened to get the wrong date, I'll have it to you by either the end of the class or tomorrow? Thanks :)
  28. Its only a day late, if there is an infinite amount of time in the universe, then a day divided by infinity is nothing so its actually on time!
  29. Johnny wasn't able to do his math homework because he has a solar-powered calculator, and being that he lives in Seattle the sun never showed up. He wasn't able to work out all the problems on paper because he didn't have enough time since he was on such a tight schedule with rallying all night, supporting higher pay for hard working teachers like you.
  30. While taking my binder from class, I ran into a stampeding herd of rushing students that uniformly marched to their cars to go home from an exhausted day. I could not fight the flow of traffic and through my persistent pushing, I lost grip of my binder and watched it sweep away under the feet of my peers. Following both with my eyes and feet I tried to run after it, watching it pursue a trail further and further away from me. Finally reaching the outskirts of the parking lot, I ran after it and was suddenly stopped in my tracks as the stampeding students turned into vicious road raged cars trying to escape the campus. Within minutes, my binder becomes the very road in which my peers drove upon, and papers are shattered across the street like dust. My homework papers returned to nature in a more digestible form.
  31. I'm sorry Sir, my Roomba ate it.
  32. Well you see sir, each new day of my life is tarnished by my constant need to complete the homework that you have assigned me. Last night in the midst of a mini existential crisis, I came to the conclusion that homework is the brick wall that has been hindering me from leaving the dusty confines of my desk and exploring the world. Rather than read about how others have made history, I have firmly resolved to inspire generations to take a stance against homework. My clear disdain for homework has inspired me to lobby congressional leaders to realize that it is in the best interest of our nation’s trees to ban excessive homework, Generations from now, students will open their textbooks and read my story. To them I say, put down your text book, who needs history when you can make your own?
  33. Well you see teacher, according to Quantum Physics on tracking the movement of particles that is inherently random, my homework dematerialized when I wasn't looking and probably rematerialized somewhere into the unknown and the chances of retrieving it is slim to near impossible.
  34. What happened was that as I opened the textbook to write down the problems, I saw the answers scrawled in the margins. I felt bad copying them onto my sheet, because I hadn't done the work and that would be cheating.
  35. I used my homework as a test subject for my Science Fair Project, the time machine. It should be here about this time tomorrow.
  36. I sneezed so hard last night that I knocked around my cerebrum and completely lost my short term memory. I didn't realize we had any homework until just now, I swear! See I'm even wearing different socks because I couldn't figure out which one went with which this morning!
  37. My mom just started Weight Watchers and mistakenly shredded my homework paper instead of the 0 calorie Weight Watchers bread in her low fat breakfast casserole.
  38. The world is difficult, and we children are physically weak and emotionally immature. Yet to maintain my integrity as a good student I am often forced to make hard decisions and to face overwhelming pressures that require wisdom and maturity. However the reason I did not turn in my homework is because like every teenager, I get distracted and I fail to do the things necessary for me to succeed at times. We are often naive and ignorant of the world and we often have no clear sense of the consequences of our actions. Nonetheless, now I can be confident that beyond the present difficulties lies a glorious future, assured to me not because I took the easy way out but because I accepted challenges, made no excuses, and turned in my homework.
  39. I don't have my homework because it was so good that someone stole it.
  40. My tutor took it home to make practice sheets.
  41. Sir, I'm not sure how anybody got the assignment. The light shines off your head so bright that I can’t even see the board.
  42. Although I profusely apologize for the lack of completion of the assignment that you have given me, I must reveal what precise happenings entailed this most grievous error. As you are well aware, I am unfailingly punctual in the completion of work which I have been tasked with, and, I assure you, that this work was completed by myself, and has simply been misplaced in a particular manner that makes recovery highly unlikely. As you know, I was to have recently returned from an academic conference in England, however, upon arriving at Argleton, Lancanshire, England, I discovered the village itself lacked existence, and that my luggage, including my homework, had never arrived. And so, dear teacher, my homework was not eaten by anything so mundane as a dog, but by a nonexistent village in England.
  43. Teacher: "Where's your homework?"
    Johnny: "I did not do it."
    Teacher: "Why not?"
    Johnny: “Well. . .homework IS work. . .right?”
    Teacher: “Yes, of course”
    Johnny: “Than it's illegal”
    Teacher: “What?! How?”
    Johnny: “Child Labor Laws."
  44. Excuse me teacher but I must apologize for my irresponsibility, because there is no excuse for me not having my homework. Excuses are tools of incompetence which build monuments of nothingness, and those that specialize at using them are seldom good at anything else.
  45. I couldn't complete my homework last night because I suffered from a terrible bite. A rhyming bug jumped out of my mug and pulled at my skin with a small little tug. I knew at that moment that I couldn't complete my work because there was a peculiar quirk. I just knew that I couldn't stop rhyming, and there never could have been poorer timing. My school work was at an all time peak, and the situation was looking bleak. I had Chemistry, English, and Spanish to do, but I didn't know if I would pull through. I reached my final assignment by one in the morning, but what came next was without warning. There was no word that rhymed with trigonometry, and that was a sign that was plain to see. Therefore, I came to your class with my homework incomplete, and I decided not to cheat.
  46. I couldn't do my homework because it was cloudy. I have a solar powered calculator.
  47. Yesterday I found myself in an interesting predicament. Yes, really, just look at my face, I'm not lying. What, I look dishonest? Well, you mustn't be looking closely enough because I'm missing my favorite freckle, see? My left cheek is not symmetrical with my right and, according to the law of syllogism, if the features of my face are imbalanced, and my face is a definite part of my head, my head is imbalanced! I am surely suffering from a sharp decrease of cerebrospinal fluid, which puts my brain in danger of permanent damage should I subject it to activities as rigorous as homework assignments! You don't believe me? You must be ailing from the same condition as I am... you're missing a freckle, too! Tommy’s the only healthy one: he has an equal number of freckles on his face! No wonder he hasn’t failed his scholarly duties!
  48. While watching television, a commercial caught my attention. It asked students of local schools to nominate their favorite teacher to be recognized for their hard work and dedication to their students. I immediately thought of my favorite teacher! This teacher is kind and nurturing and exemplifies what it means to be a great teacher. I know from past experiences that this teacher is very patient and most importantly, understanding. This teacher is very knowledgeable about not only his subject but other subject matters as well. I respect and look up to this teacher quite a bit. So after seeing the commercial, I didn't hesitate to begin writing the essay which would nominate this award worthy teacher of such accreditation. I didn't do my homework because I used my time writing a letter to nominate you for Teacher-of-the-Year.
  49. I did my homework but I got in a fight with Tommy this morning because he said you weren't the best teacher ever. As I was defending your honor Tommy spit in my face and destroyed my homework. All I could salvage were these tiny shreds that he didn't set in flames. Sorry they are kind of wet, I used them to wipe my tears.
  50. I'm truly sorry teacher for not doing my homework. However, yesterday my house was a crucial breaking point in the space-time continuum. Completion of my homework within this junction would at best would improve my grade in this class, but at worst bring a total collapse to this localized region of space and time. I just couldn't take that risk. For the good of the group, and the future of the human race, I could not do my homework. I hope you understand the gravity of the situation and extend some manner of leniency.
  51. You see your just such a great teacher and I didn't want to add to your workload, but in all seriousness I made my homework into a paper plane and it got hijacked so, there it is, that's why I didn't hand it in.

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